The Quest For A Home....

 I have been avoiding this topic for a while now, in the hopes not to jinx myself when it comes to doing something I have never done before.   Sure,  there are those people who tell you they plan on climbing mount everest or walking on the moon someday.   And most of the time,  they are laughed at because no one takes such an impossible goal so seriously.      

But forget those impossible goals.   What about "Lofty"  or "Difficult" goals.   Like: graduating from college.   Joining the Army.  Running a Marathon.  Traveling to Alaska.  Folding an Origami Ryujin...

Ok... Most of those "difficult" goals are not really that difficult.   Heck!  They DRAFTED people into the Army back in the 60's.  And college?   They are practically giving degrees out as prizes in Cheerio Boxes now.   But back in the 90's   you had to actually do the work and hand over the money.  

But as I get older,  I still find that there are things that seem difficult... simply because I have never attempted them before. Even if they are "common" for other folks who have already marked that off their list back when they were in their 20's...    So what am I talking about?  

For the last four months now,  I have been looking for a house.   

 To own!  

I have never owned a house.   I have always been a renter.   And there was a time when that seemed like a "Good Idea".  Especially during the 2008 Housing Crisis.  People were leaving their homes because they could not afford to make the payments. And instead of dropping all of those houses on the Bank's doorsteps.. ( So they could deflate the price and allow new home owners a chance to get into the market...) They used taxpayer money to "Bail The Banks Out". Keeping interest rates high, Keeping housing prices inflated, and preventing people from finding a way to get a house to own.  I know there is more to it, but that is my simplified rant of why I never considered buying a house.  

But things have changed. 

I think it all started when one of my co workers from Haribo was telling us that his Grandmother was going to put her house up for sale.   I actually thought I was just going to get another Apartment here in Kenosha at the beginning of the year...  But that simply announcement  in the locker  room of Haribo got my mind working....

I have a Cat.   Cat's are usually not welcome in Apartments.   Or you pay extra and have your lease restricted if you have them.  Oh!  And say goodbye to your breakage deposit.  

I am a veteran! And there is a thing called the VA loan for first time home buyers.    I have attempted this path before, but I'm sure I must have caused  quite a bit of laughter...  Having no job,  self employed, no retirement,  No assets, and my only work history was "Gig" jobs at ACT, SAT, And Pearson. Nevermind that I still owed money for taxes from 2016!

But that has changed now.   I have been here in Kenosha for just over 4 years!   And during that time,  I have had steady employment and have been able to pay off my taxes and student loans!   I'm currently making more money than I ever have in my life!  From an Employer who is an international company....  Perhaps things are different now.  

Well,   They are!   It has taken me a while to realize this, but this time... whenever I filled out a form, I was not immediately rejected.   In fact,  they actually called me!   They gave me guidance on what I needed to do to get the ball to the next level.   And who, what and where to call next.  I have been blessed!

That being said,  the entire task has been "Herculean" for me.   Having never done this before,  I do not know what I don't know...  So I am heavily reliant on the graciousness of strangers for the bulk of the ride.  

And Prayer...  Lots and Lots of Praying. 

Now most people who have purchased a house probably are thinking: "Ethan is making a mountain out of aa Molehill!  It's not that difficult."   And that may be true.   But I tend to overthink things.   And I am amazed that there are people out there (Like my brother)  who jump into adulthood with both hands and feet!   What happens if you get laid off work? (2008 recession)    What if there is a fire? (um... Dave?)  What if they raise your taxes! (Anyone visit Illinois lately?) You have put down roots and had better think about some long range planning in the event life comes and kicks you in the teeth. 

The same can be said about starting a family.   Having a kid is a 25+ year commitment! ( These days...  Years ago they would kick the kids out at 18) There is medical, food, clothing, college fund, marriage.. not to mention school, puke, poopy diapers, and possible Day Care!   Only to have them eventually let you down when they do something you have warned them not to do.  ( Like me! and all of MY mistakes in Life.) Who would have a kid under those circumstances?  (Thankfully,  people continue to have children for the next generation... Despite all of the dangers and risks  and heartbreaks involved.)  

But here I am.   Alone. ( Except for a cat)  Making a risky decision once again in my life.   Possibly because when I am solely responsible for me, myself, and I....  And I do not have to worry about someone else having to share or bear my burden in the event that this goes south..  It gives me a certain level of freedom I have not felt in a Very Long Time.  I remember that first day in Basic Training.   I was thinking I had made a HUGE mistake!  But there was nowhere to go except through it.  And I was not about to quit or self sabotage if I could help it.  

In the end,  The Army was a great experience for me.  It was rough at times.   But the lessons learned continue to bear fruit even now, years later in my life.  (I still fold my clothes and make my bed like I did in the Barracks.) And I'm sure I will look back at the time with a certain fondness on things that I did right, and wrong.    And would do better next time.   ( Provided there is a "Next Time") 

And So I have tossed out the opening blog post on a process that I have been going through for over 4 months now.  As it (hopefully) nears it's end and completion,  I may gain a little more confidence to write about it on the blog.   To "Bring my future self along for the ride."  And all of those folks who occasionally stop in and read the blog.   I may even feel motivated to fill in some of the "set backs" I have  have experienced along the way.  Everyone likes reading about failures,  right?   Provided that, in the end,  the protagonist was successful in his goal.   

And with an invisible deadline approaching,  I can only continue to pray for God's Guidance,   and hope that he continues to bless me with the "Helpfulness of Strangers" as I travel this long, dark path solo.   And try to make every second count. 

The Gift Of Nostalgia.

I am currently sitting on the front porch with the cat as it is raining.   And in the background, I have "Avenue" playing from the 2003 Full Metal Alchemist  sound track.   It brings me back. 

Funny how music can do such a magical thing.    Play an '80's song, and I'm back in High school.   In the Locker room during football camp.  In the dorm playing D&D with my brother's roommates.  Or driving home for the weekend.  Music can take your mind  back to places you forgot.   And even re-ignite those emotions you buried or lost in the process.   Truly an act of wonder and mystery.   Call it "Magic!" 

But this song hits me on so many levels.  It makes me long for the 2003 Full Metal Alchemist. ( The first one...  Not Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood 2009.)   I will refrain from trying to explain the differences on the blog post and try to focus on the initial point.    I watched that series several times.   And we eventually purchased the CD set and the music.   If anime could ever be described as an Oscar Winner for Best Series.  ( I don't know what awards the entertainment industry uses to pat themselves on the back these days....) It would be Full Metal Alchemist.    I have watched many Anime movies and series... and there is nothing that can compare to this story.    Even the later Brotherhood. ( I said I was not going to compare them!)   Could be classified into a different genre.   More action,  less story.  ( Ok,  I'm done comparing them now...) 

But the main thing is how the music takes me back.   Back to that little apartment in Iowa.   Curled up on a couch from IKEA.... Watching the series on a DVD with a 15$ Old Tube Television that we purchased from Goodwill.   Because we had no money to go out, and no money to buy nice things.    We were forced to rewatch out limited DVD collection of Anime that survived the Trip to Iowa from Michigan.   And although those could be cataloged as "Dark Times" in our lives... I actually remember them with fondness.  A touch of Excitement,  Romance, and Melancholy.  A moment in time that is now lost to history.   

When I went back to Michigan to see my Brother and Friend,   I was forced to drive through Grand Haven.   (And Saugatuck and South Haven, and Holland....) And all those Michigan thoughts came flooding in.   I could feel the "Carving and Art Show Years"  pounding on my heart like a hammer.   The places had changed a bit, but enough was there to cause me discomfort while passing through.  And one of the things I noted while on Long Drives:    Your Mind tends to Wander towards those things in the past that you: "Should have..... Would have.... Could have"  done better or different.   Would the results have been better or worse?   You will never know... 

So why beat yourself up over them.   

That is what your mind tells you.   But your Heart is beating loud and strong.. Telling you that it all matters somehow.   And maybe it is not always for the bad...   Even though it may feel like that in the moment. 

And so I listen to Avenue.   A short, little instrumental song that is played only a couple of times during the entire Full Alchemist Series.  A song that is nothing more than background when Ed and Al are on their Journey.   And they look back on their Childhood...  With Nostelgia.  

And,  like real life,  they look back on many moments of their past with Horror, Fear, and Great Sadness.   But it all works to shape their path towards the one  that they are on.  It takes them a while, but they eventually recognize that.   A line I remember is when Al  is lamenting that he and Ed do nothing but "Give to the Void"  and get nothing back in return.   Even though they wholeheartedly believe in the fundamental principle of Alchemy:   "Equivalent Exchange."   And  then another random character will offer the explanation : "Sometimes that which is gained is not always what is wanted..."   

Wisdom sometimes comes at a high price!

But this song brings back those good memories.   Those soft moments of peace and sanctuary when our world was collapsing around us.   And it brings back the person who shared those moments with me.  Even though I no longer have that person,  I still have the memories.   

And those moments.   

And all it takes is for a brief melody of music to bring them all back.   

Like... Magic.  

The music will mean little to anyone else who has not lived my life,   And even less to those who have not watched the Anime Series.  But here it is.    Just to add some context to the thing that allows Time Travel, Nostelgia, Heart Restoration, and Peace.    Enjoy. 

The Lack Of Passion.

Recently, I have become aware that I am not a very good Christian.   

Ok,  Technically,   Everyone is a sinner...   I'm not really talking about that.   I'm probably talking more about "evangelism" than actually believing in Jesus.  I believe the "belief" part I have covered.   And really that is between me, God, and Jesus.   

But as far as  sharing the Word with other people... I definitely know that I lack something. For a long time I wondered why it was so difficult to chat about something that I have been rooted in my entire life.   Heck!  I even went to College and planned on making it a career!   What was it?  

 I think it is "Passion." 

Talk to me about Alaska... And I will monopolize the conversation for hours!  To the point where people are trying to get away from me because I will just not stop!  That, is passion!

I even joined the Army just so I could go back to Alaska for an additional three years!   Normally, people do not join the Army for such a reason.   Normally,  Soldiers who get sent to Alaska did something like "Date The General's Daughter" that got them banished to such a remote place.   The only someone who really WANTS to be in the Frozen Tundra would either be a fool, an adventurer,  or both!   That is Passion!

And so it goes with "Mushrooms", and "Fish", and "The Army."   All "Taboo" topics that I am highly passionate about.  If you want me to drone on for hours and not be able to get a word in edgewise,   bring up those topics.  

But not Christianity.   

Not that I avoid the topic.   Nor that it embarasses me in any way.  I'm a Christian.   Specifically Lutheran!  Occasionally,  I will engage a Catholic (Another Christian...) for a little playful banter on our differences, (Which is actually kind of fun! For both of us.)  but otherwise I rarely go into much depth about the doctrine or faith with strangers.  I wonder why that is.  

You would think,  given the Life-changing Gift that Jesus gave us, that we ( as Christians) would be shouting the message from the rooftops!  Especially ME!   Again,  I thought I would be a part of the Ministry and went to college for such a thing.   But it was not really meant to be.   Perhaps I lacked the passion.  

When I was at Shoreland.  I was surrounded by Passionate people.   All of the teachers had that passion that I seemed to lack.  And it was both inspiring and  a little intimidating at the same time. I so wanted to have that level of dedication to being a teacher.   Specifically, a Lutheran Teacher.    But, for some reason (that was never obvious to me),  I was never able to find it.   Even with the help of all of the teachers who went above and beyond!  I think I just lacked the passion.  

I find the things that we are passionate about to be a great mystery.  I'm sure a younger me would have been confused why anyone would not LOVE fishing.  How is it possible that being out on a lake, surrounded by nature and water,  while waiting for a fish to bite is not the greatest feeling  and experience in the world?  The cold rain?  Nothing!   The hot, baking sun?   Who cares?  You're fishing!  What could be better? 

But now I'm older.    And I have a little bit of experience that has shown me that everyone finds different things to be fun.  To hold and have different things that they are passionate about.  And that is fine.    It  brings me peace knowing that there are people out there like Dave and Pastor Scoggins,   and Pastor Prange who have the passion that I lack.  And it shows ... Every Sunday with their Sermons.  And the "Burden" of bringing everyone on the planet to God is not exclusively mine.  (It shouldn't feel like a burden...)    

Don't get me wrong.   I will still chat with anyone who actually wants to know about Christianity. Just like I can talk about sports or cars or any number of other topics I have experience in, but lack the "passion" to make it a focus or career for myself.    That is probably why I was never a good teacher.   Teaching kids who want to learn is easy and Fun!  But trying to instill a passion for learning in students who do not want to learn felt like a burden. 

All of these thoughts springing up from one song that I am currently listening to.  And now this blog post is too long to add in the original thought that started me down this rabbit hole.  Funny how I go off on tangents and they can consume and take over my thought processes.  But.   Writing can be a form of therapy.  And Cheaper than drugs or doctors.   Perhaps I will write later on the song and how it got this ball rolling.     In the mean time...   I will continue to chase my passions that God gave me and try to make every second count. 

Mother's Day In Michigan.

That is correct!  I spent the weekend in Michigan visiting my brother while lumping in a mushroom hunt as an activity.   Mother's day was traditionally the time when my Grandpa Genther would go up north to hunt for morels.  And,  to the best of my memory,   there was (only) ONE time where we hit it good and filled up several grocery bags with black Morels.  Ever since then,   I have associated that day ( time of year) with peak Morel hunting time in the northern parts of Michigan. 

Well,  Manistee is nearly at the same Latitude as Marrion Michigan... So the times Should match up... Right?  

Well,  not so much.   I think we were a little late to the party.   It did not matter too much as I had to work last week anyway, so I would not have been able to get that time off.   But I had hoped that we might get it lucky.   And I KNOW that there are at least some Morels on the Property... so simply finding the location where they pop up would not be the main challenge.  

When the Morels are in their prime.  ( Whenever that is....)   You can find them usually from the road.   We have done it before!   But if they are not...  Meaning:  you are early or a little late,   Then you really have to hunt for them.  And since I am not a master of habitat or Tree Identification...  It is kind of like searching for a needle in a stack of needles. (Elm trees are the gold standard, by the way.  Still does not mean you will find them around the bases.) 

That all being said,  we did find a few mushrooms.  Mostly the Poisonous ones....  People have been posting their finds for over the last two weeks now.   And the rains of early April had flooded a number of places.   But things dried out pretty good and we only found a few.   Mostly of species that were not edible.   I did find a small button of spring Oysters, but they were so small and hardly worth eating.  

On Saturday,  We went over to visit the Arnold's on their 40 and see if we could find some there.  Eric spent the time fixing his Quad runner while Ed and I went out with the Dogs.    We only found a bunch of Birch Polypores and were about to give up and spend the rest of the evening drinking beer, when Ed saw a mature Dryad Saddle!   

We harvested it, even though it was well past its edibility stage.   we figured we could seed some parts of Erics property with slices of the mushroom.  

  In the mean time,  Ed ended up twisting his food trying to carry his dogs across the creek.   I thought it was funny, because the dogs had been running and swimming in every puddle that was there on the land.   But the moment they had to cross the creek,  they suddenly became "Damsels in Distress!"  

We enjoyed some dinner and swapped some stories. ( And drank some Beer... of course.)   I really should make plans to visit more often.   Uncle Bill went to the gun show and came back with two more shotguns to add to his "collection".  (He is a proud, card carrying NRA member!)  

And then yesterday,   Eric and I found three small Morels right where we USUALLY find them on the property.   I had looked there just days before and could not find them.   They were pretty dry and brittle, but I harvested them anyway. 

On the way home,  I stopped by Grand Haven's Harbor Island.   Where we had always found them when we lived there.  No luck.   

But I did manage to make friends with a Mourning Cloak.   With the Sun being hidden behind the clouds, and the temps dipping into the 50's,   this little guy did not want to fly.  I only noticed him because he looked like a mushroom shadow from a distance.  But finding a little gem is still a bit of a thrill, and I took his pictures for the blog.  

And now I'm home.   I washed the car;   did what little laundry I had;  and went shopping for this week's Lunches.  The Cat was happy to see me and I have been hanging with her pretty much all day.   And I certainly could use a little time to relax before heading back to work tomorrow.  All good things have to come to an end eventually. 

By the way,  Dave is coming back to sign papers and will be stopping in for a visit tomorrow.   I'm sure he will not have much time, but he wanted to at least stop in and say "hi" before heading back.   I think he wanted to visit as many family members as he can while he is here as well.   It works out since I will be heading to work in the afternoon anyway.  

There was much more to blog about on this little visit,  but I will keep this one limited to the Mushroom hunting part of it.     The weather in Michigan was as close to Heaven or Alaska as I could have asked for.   Warm Sun, cool air,  Gentle breeze....   With just enough clouds to keep the sun from being annoying.   The bugs were out, ( The Arnold's Property is located near a swamp.) but they were not terribly annoying or bad.  In short:  It was a peaceful Weekend. 

Some of the areas we searched might be great for Future Mushroom hunts in the Summer.   Ed tells me that they have "Those Yellow Mushrooms" and Corals later in the summer and early Fall.   I would love finding a bunch of Chanterelles and Corals and cooking them up on the grill with some steaks or pork chops!   We shall see how the Summer plays out.  In the mean time,   I will try to make every second count. 

Earth Day At The Haribo!

 Wednesday was "Earth Day".   The one day on the planet that we set out to recognize that we live on a planet.   And try to do stuff to make us feel like we are saving said planet.   Kind of stupid, if you ask me.   The planet will be here long after we are gone.   And it is doing its best to kill us with everything from the weather, landslides, floods and volcanoes around us.   And don't get me started on using the other living things to wipe us out!   (Black Plague, Anyone?)

As you can see, this topic is an easy one  for me to slip into a political rant against the Greenies and hippies that worship "Mother Earth."  But I would wager that few people love the "Great Outdoors" as much as I do!  Hunting, Fishing, Camping were all parts of my childhood experience growing up.   Heck!  I even went to College to learn even MORE about the intricacies of nature.  Most people who work outside do so because they were terrible in school and have no other option.   I actually went to college so I could work outside!  Try to explain that! 

So when Haribo offered an Earth Day Clean up Crew that would clean up the area on the other side of the highway,  I volunteered!  What a great way to spend a couple of hours outside with my Peeps!  And the weather was wonderful!   Making the experience all that much better! 

Most of the people were from the offices.    It makes sense to me.   I know what when I worked in an office,   getting a chance to go outside was very liberating!   And I would accept just about any excuse to be out there.  ( as long as it was not raining!)  

But there was at least one guy from the Packaging Floor  besides me.   ( So I didn't feel too out of place.)  I imagine most people were probably not willing to show up  two hours before their shift to walk around in Tick Infested brush to pick up a bunch of trash...  (That shows you where their love of the planet ends.... )   Luckily,  there were no ticks.  At least from our shift.  

  I guess one of the guys on first shift picked one up while cleaning the median.  But there was not a lot of tall grass or brush in our section.   A little bit safer.   (Ticks!  Another one of "Mother Earth's" Vectors of Destruction!)  Still,  I wore long pants for the occasion.  Had I thought of it, I would have brought my Deep Woods Off! from my fishing gear.  

The entire Event lasted a little over an hour.   And we had cleaned up a fairly long stretch of the road and highway.  Nate and I filled up two large garbage bags each.  ( Not sure about the others,  as they were further down the road)   But it was a Fun way to prep for the work day and they even brought snacks.   There were pictures for the Haribo Blog and Commons area, but I forgot to snap a picture while at work today. 

Speaking of which,  I worked today.   I have been working a lot of Saturdays lately.   Mostly because I have don't have much else to do and enjoy getting all of that Tax Free overtime now.  Who would have ever guessed that elections actually have results?  Besides,  I enjoy the work and the people I work with.   What could be better than spending the day helping out friends with a common struggle?    

Oh!   And did I mention the pay?   Which is nice.  ( And tax free!) 

It has been so nice outside lately that I even went down to the park for a bit of fishing before work.  The Bluegills are not on the beds yet, but they are getting ready... and are Hungry!   I managed to catch several before losing my fly.  It's always promising when you catch something on the first cast!   Hopefully,   when I have a free Saturday or an early morning,  I will be able to head to one of the local lakes and try my luck there.    

In the mean time,  I will have a little bit of fun with the small pond fish next door.  It's a perfect excuse to get outside and enjoy a little nature. 

In addition to the fish,  the flowers are now showing off their full colors.   Several yards in the neighborhood are spotted with dots of yellow and blue.   This is the one time of year when Ll of the Dandelions bloom in unison.  And I personally  like the symphony of yellow they produce.  I really should get out there and harvest a few for my Dandelion Green Potato salad.  (Mom called it "German Potato Salad, but that is not really what it is. )  

The cat is telling me to wrap this up as it is getting late and I have Church tomorrow... Early!  ( I can't help it, I like the early Service best.)  Which means I had better be getting to bed soon if I don't want to be a zombie tomorrow.   I have tentative plans to go out and look for some mushrooms tomorrow after Church, since I will be close to Parkside and know a few places where the Oyster Mushrooms might be popping up.   Dave already sent me a pic of some Oyster Mushrooms in Canada.  So it is possible the nicer weather has set them to bloom here.   I will try to be there when it happens.   And make the rest of the weekend count.