The New Home!

 It's officially mine!  With all of the problems and issues that old houses bring.   ( Along with shelter, security, and possible happy memories... I guess.)   I don't know why, but I am not feeling the overwhelming Joy that I "feel" I am supposed to be feeling.  Perhaps that is normal?    

Time will tell. 

For now,  I have spent the greater part of the afternoon packing up my stuff and doing some preliminary cleaning.  I also came to the conclusion:  I have a lot of crap!  

More than I originally thought!   Mostly it is small stuff.  Not counting all of the "donated" furniture that so many people gave me.   I actually think they originally gave it to Dave.   

 And he, directly or indirectly, gave it to me.   And it came in handy!   So I'm not complaining.   And as luck would have it,  I will be able to leave some of the biggest (And most difficult to move....) pieces here for the incoming Pastor!   It is a win all the way around!

But as I was packing up all of the "knick knacks"  I had the thought of the "feeding of the 5000" come into my brain.   I can imagine thoughts of the disciples as Jesus asks them to pick up the "scraps" after the lunch.   

And they just keep finding stuff....  Well,  it was kind of like that for me here.  Batteries, small screws, tools, paper... lots of paper for some reason...  And a whole bunch of plastic containers from my lunch preps.  not to mention all of the kitchen items I "acquired" from the Bethany Chow Hall.  Crock pots, slicing contraptions, baking and cooking containers,  and lots of mismatched utensils!  

It took a bit, but I managed to put most of the items in boxes so moving should be easier tomorrow.  Since it will only be me,  I imagine it will won't take too long.  And since I don't have to take the big, heavy leather Sofa....   

I think I can handle everything else with just my two-wheeler.  Plus!  I like the challenge of self reliance.  ( Hopefully,  those words will not bite me on the butt tomorrow....) 

I will leave clean up for either Saturday night or Sunday afternoon.  With no furniture to worry about,  I think cleaning things up should be easy. 

 I did take down the Mural I had put up when I first arrived here.   It came down pretty easy since it was barely hanging on to begin with. 

 I was afraid I had done "too good of a job" when I put it up and some parts would be permanently stuck on.   But it was surprisingly easy to get off.   

In the mean time.   A small celebration at the Clubhouse.    Friday Fish Fry!  I Can't remember the last time I enjoyed perch dinner at the clubhouse.   It was good,  and after a couple of beers,  I plan on getting to bed early so I can tackle tomorrow the same way I did today.   Fingers crossed I maintain the energy I had this afternoon.  

I'm hoping the internet will be switched over by then and I will be able to blog about my day tomorrow.   Unless I am too tired.   Until then,  I should try to make every remaining second count. 

The Eve Before Closing Day...

As the Big Day approaches tomorrow, I find the Anxiety building to almost unbearable levels!  

Ok, that is a bit more dramatic than it needs to be.   I have certainly felt worse in my life about situations I could not control.  But this one has to be up there in rankings.  I guess every time you experience a new "first" in your life,  there is that mixture of emotions that can not really be summed up in a single word.   And yet.."Anxiety" is the word of choice.  Even if it is not the best. 

There is an excitement that is mingled with the "fear".   And I have to keep telling myself to "enjoy the ride".   It will all be over soon enough and I will probably look back with fond Memories.   Like a Rollercoaster ride!    Either you want to "Do it again!"  Or you have the overwhelming feeling of being "Glad that is finally over..."  Either way,  You have the experience and memories to tell some total stranger at a bar in some distant future.

This week I have been walking around like a zombie ( my opinion).   Seemingly lost in my thoughts about things that surprisingly have nothing to do with the house!  It could be the amount of caffeine I have been consuming lately.  (But I usually drink a lot of coffee before work  as a habit.)   Oh!  Sure, there are the things I keep reminding myself about: Moving day,  Cleaning up.  logistics.  Even double checking all of the utilities that I have already transferred and wondering how things will work.  I have already changed my address, transferred services, registered to vote. (I think...) Reserved the Moving Truck, Got the Day off from work...   What else is there?  

I guess I will eventually find out.  Hopefully it is nothing too annoying or threatening.  I don't even know if by transferring the services from this place to the new one,  the services will cut  them off completely here!  And will that be bad?    I simply don't know the process. 

And then there is the "Life's Greater Direction..."  thoughts that hit me.   Going down that rabbit hole is a whole other blog post.  And even though everyone has those thoughts from time to time,   I am finding it rather unsettling that I have been having them a LOT leading up to this process.  Perhaps it is the whole concept of "Putting Down Roots" in a particular area. 

One more day of work before the big event.  And then,  Hopefully,  I will be able to fall back into "auto mode" with the move and busy work that will allow me to focus on the task in front of me and not on an uncertain future.   Honestly,  doing the small tasks that the bank and realtors have been giving me is like achieving milestones in a video game.   Each  completed task  equals a small, achievable victory!  Like stepping stones while crossing a river or climbing a mountain.  I could almost describe the experience as....  Dare I say:  Fun?  

Maybe....

 Fun is usually accompanied with hardship and struggle.   Even frustration and anger!  Emotions that would might not ever associate with "having Fun."   But there it is.  I never would have thought about things like that in my youth.   Perhaps that means I am getting old... 

So I best end this now and get ready for work.  Tomorrow will be a long day and it begins early!   So I had better be my best and get a good night's sleep.   And try to make every second count. 

Mushroom Gold!

 Well I did go out searching for mushrooms yesterday... And actually found some!  The Spring Oyster Mushrooms were out!   I found some last weekend and have been eating them for dinner.   I figured this weekend, they would be out in full force...  But I think I missed the peak time by a day  or two.   Most of the ones I found were rather old and leathery.  

I did manage to find a few that were just hanging on to "Acceptable". for harvest.   So I at least had a handful for this week.  Most of the time,  especially if the conditions are good,  the oyster mushrooms will drop their spores and shrivel up within 24 hours of popping out.   That is not a long time if you have to drive to your hunting spot every day from the other side of the city. 

Things were so much easier when I was within three miles and could walk (Or run) there everyday after work.   But...  Things change and sometimes there are sacrifices that have to be made for progress.

The weather has been AWESOME lately.  And since I was already out and enjoying the weather,  I figured I might as well check this other spot that had no Aspen or Poplar trees.   Because..."Sometimes you never know...
   

Turns out.... I DID discover something.   Chicken of the Woods!

I have never found a Sulphur Polypore this early before.  ( Come to think of it,  I have not found very many chicken of the woods Period!) So I was pretty excited to find this little gem popping out in a location I had never found them before.   Even though it was small,  I harvested it.   I did not want it getting too old before I next had a chance to get out there.   Nor did I want anyone else harvesting it ahead of me.  (Which happened a LOT last year!)   

That set the stage for today.   After a short nap  after Church, I headed out to another place where I have found Sulphur Polypores before.  And I also figured there were a couple of area where I found some Lung Oysters as well.  Perhaps I could get lucky with one or the other. 

I did find a small pinning lung oyster on a log I was familiar with.   I left it to grow and hopefully I will be able to find some more there next weekend. (Provided I have time to look for them...) But a couple logs away,  I found a Gold Mine!

Golden Oysters!   I don't know if I have ever found them yet in Wisconsin.   But I have NOW!   And this log had more than I could carry.   They were all fresh and I quickly filled the basket.   I also took a couple small sections and "inoculated" several fallen trees along the path.  IF the Goldens are as prolific here as they were in Iowa,  next year we should have a bonanza!

So now I have to cook these guys up in some stir fry.   Ideally, I will have them all consumed before I have to move to the New house. (I'm beginning to get confident about telling people now...  )  

Speaking of the house:   I just reserved the Moving Van for next Saturday.  I think I will be able to handle most of the furniture I plan on taking.   I have also set up a "to do" list I will be checking off through out the week.   Just thinking of these things begins to get me anxious... but there is also the excitement of "Unexplored Territories" that help temper the feelings.  Any adventure usually is accompanied by both fear and excitement.  I just have to remind myself to enjoy the ride...  It will be over soon enough. 

Tomorrow begins a new week!  And hopefully, it will be the last week I will be living in this house.   It was a good place, but ultimately it was only ever meant to be temporary.   So I'm hoping the more "permanent" housing will provide a solution to one of my many struggles.   And that will allow me to free up my mind to focus on the next thing that needs attention.  (I have so many... so there will be no shortage of things to work on.) But Rome was not built in a day.   And I can't solve all of my problems all at once.    Start small,  and work my way up....   And hopefully,   God will provide the time that I need to complete each task.   My job... Will be to make every second that I'm blessed with... count.

The End Draws Near...

It looks like this thing is actually going to happen!  The closing date of June 5th nears and I Just completed the (hopefully) last task to complete the closing process.  Now, All I should have to do is sign the papers on Friday. 

I have to be honest,  There are still some butterflies fluttering around in the pit of my core as I prepare for the unknown.   I still have to think about moving my stuff,  utility transfer, change of address forms, and probably a bunch of other things I have not thought of yet.  I have to clean this house and make it presentable for the incoming pastor. (Wouldn't want him thinking I'm a slob...  At least not as a first impression. ) I know I could prepare for next weekend by packing things up early;  But I know that there are risks concerning that as well.   (Namely:  packing up your dishes or tools, only to realize you need them for the move!) 

I asked for Friday off from work.  Hopefully my PTO will get approved and I will have the entire day to sign the papers and celebrate.   I hate having to feel "rushed" when doing something important... Like working on a Subaru Brake system,  Or building furniture from IKEA.  The signing is at 10:30 and probably will not take all day,  but why take the chance.  (Expect for the Unexpected!)  And besides,   I don't want to be distracted at work after making a huge purchase!

The sellers have already signed the papers and are out of town, so I could have pushed the closing date up a couple of days.   But according to the closing letter,  they need at least three business days after I finished this last task, to prepare stuff.  And at this late in the game,  changing the plans has no real benefit or advantage.  (Why close on Wednesday, when you won't be able to do anything until the weekend anyway?) 

Hmmph!  I figured I would have more to say about things.  I guess I will keep this post short and prepare for the Mushroom hunt I have planned for this afternoon.   Perhaps I will have some luck and be able to post some pictures of my finds.  Otherwise,  I will use the rest of this weekend to Make Every Second Count!

The Quest For A Home....

 I have been avoiding this topic for a while now, in the hopes not to jinx myself when it comes to doing something I have never done before.   Sure,  there are those people who tell you they plan on climbing mount everest or walking on the moon someday.   And most of the time,  they are laughed at because no one takes such an impossible goal so seriously.      

But forget those impossible goals.   What about "Lofty"  or "Difficult" goals.   Like: graduating from college.   Joining the Army.  Running a Marathon.  Traveling to Alaska.  Folding an Origami Ryujin...

Ok... Most of those "difficult" goals are not really that difficult.   Heck!  They DRAFTED people into the Army back in the 60's.  And college?   They are practically giving degrees out as prizes in Cheerio Boxes now.   But back in the 90's   you had to actually do the work and hand over the money.  

But as I get older,  I still find that there are things that seem difficult... simply because I have never attempted them before. Even if they are "common" for other folks who have already marked that off their list back when they were in their 20's...    So what am I talking about?  

For the last four months now,  I have been looking for a house.   

 To own!  

I have never owned a house.   I have always been a renter.   And there was a time when that seemed like a "Good Idea".  Especially during the 2008 Housing Crisis.  People were leaving their homes because they could not afford to make the payments. And instead of dropping all of those houses on the Bank's doorsteps.. ( So they could deflate the price and allow new home owners a chance to get into the market...) They used taxpayer money to "Bail The Banks Out". Keeping interest rates high, Keeping housing prices inflated, and preventing people from finding a way to get a house to own.  I know there is more to it, but that is my simplified rant of why I never considered buying a house.  

But things have changed. 

I think it all started when one of my co workers from Haribo was telling us that his Grandmother was going to put her house up for sale.   I actually thought I was just going to get another Apartment here in Kenosha at the beginning of the year...  But that simply announcement  in the locker  room of Haribo got my mind working....

I have a Cat.   Cat's are usually not welcome in Apartments.   Or you pay extra and have your lease restricted if you have them.  Oh!  And say goodbye to your breakage deposit.  

I am a veteran! And there is a thing called the VA loan for first time home buyers.    I have attempted this path before, but I'm sure I must have caused  quite a bit of laughter...  Having no job,  self employed, no retirement,  No assets, and my only work history was "Gig" jobs at ACT, SAT, And Pearson. Nevermind that I still owed money for taxes from 2016!

But that has changed now.   I have been here in Kenosha for just over 4 years!   And during that time,  I have had steady employment and have been able to pay off my taxes and student loans!   I'm currently making more money than I ever have in my life!  From an Employer who is an international company....  Perhaps things are different now.  

Well,   They are!   It has taken me a while to realize this, but this time... whenever I filled out a form, I was not immediately rejected.   In fact,  they actually called me!   They gave me guidance on what I needed to do to get the ball to the next level.   And who, what and where to call next.  I have been blessed!

That being said,  the entire task has been "Herculean" for me.   Having never done this before,  I do not know what I don't know...  So I am heavily reliant on the graciousness of strangers for the bulk of the ride.  

And Prayer...  Lots and Lots of Praying. 

Now most people who have purchased a house probably are thinking: "Ethan is making a mountain out of aa Molehill!  It's not that difficult."   And that may be true.   But I tend to overthink things.   And I am amazed that there are people out there (Like my brother)  who jump into adulthood with both hands and feet!   What happens if you get laid off work? (2008 recession)    What if there is a fire? (um... Dave?)  What if they raise your taxes! (Anyone visit Illinois lately?) You have put down roots and had better think about some long range planning in the event life comes and kicks you in the teeth. 

The same can be said about starting a family.   Having a kid is a 25+ year commitment! ( These days...  Years ago they would kick the kids out at 18) There is medical, food, clothing, college fund, marriage.. not to mention school, puke, poopy diapers, and possible Day Care!   Only to have them eventually let you down when they do something you have warned them not to do.  ( Like me! and all of MY mistakes in Life.) Who would have a kid under those circumstances?  (Thankfully,  people continue to have children for the next generation... Despite all of the dangers and risks  and heartbreaks involved.)  

But here I am.   Alone. ( Except for a cat)  Making a risky decision once again in my life.   Possibly because when I am solely responsible for me, myself, and I....  And I do not have to worry about someone else having to share or bear my burden in the event that this goes south..  It gives me a certain level of freedom I have not felt in a Very Long Time.  I remember that first day in Basic Training.   I was thinking I had made a HUGE mistake!  But there was nowhere to go except through it.  And I was not about to quit or self sabotage if I could help it.  

In the end,  The Army was a great experience for me.  It was rough at times.   But the lessons learned continue to bear fruit even now, years later in my life.  (I still fold my clothes and make my bed like I did in the Barracks.) And I'm sure I will look back at the time with a certain fondness on things that I did right, and wrong.    And would do better next time.   ( Provided there is a "Next Time") 

And So I have tossed out the opening blog post on a process that I have been going through for over 4 months now.  As it (hopefully) nears it's end and completion,  I may gain a little more confidence to write about it on the blog.   To "Bring my future self along for the ride."  And all of those folks who occasionally stop in and read the blog.   I may even feel motivated to fill in some of the "set backs" I have  have experienced along the way.  Everyone likes reading about failures,  right?   Provided that, in the end,  the protagonist was successful in his goal.   

And with an invisible deadline approaching,  I can only continue to pray for God's Guidance,   and hope that he continues to bless me with the "Helpfulness of Strangers" as I travel this long, dark path solo.   And try to make every second count. 

The Gift Of Nostalgia.

I am currently sitting on the front porch with the cat as it is raining.   And in the background, I have "Avenue" playing from the 2003 Full Metal Alchemist  sound track.   It brings me back. 

Funny how music can do such a magical thing.    Play an '80's song, and I'm back in High school.   In the Locker room during football camp.  In the dorm playing D&D with my brother's roommates.  Or driving home for the weekend.  Music can take your mind  back to places you forgot.   And even re-ignite those emotions you buried or lost in the process.   Truly an act of wonder and mystery.   Call it "Magic!" 

But this song hits me on so many levels.  It makes me long for the 2003 Full Metal Alchemist. ( The first one...  Not Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood 2009.)   I will refrain from trying to explain the differences on the blog post and try to focus on the initial point.    I watched that series several times.   And we eventually purchased the CD set and the music.   If anime could ever be described as an Oscar Winner for Best Series.  ( I don't know what awards the entertainment industry uses to pat themselves on the back these days....) It would be Full Metal Alchemist.    I have watched many Anime movies and series... and there is nothing that can compare to this story.    Even the later Brotherhood. ( I said I was not going to compare them!)   Could be classified into a different genre.   More action,  less story.  ( Ok,  I'm done comparing them now...) 

But the main thing is how the music takes me back.   Back to that little apartment in Iowa.   Curled up on a couch from IKEA.... Watching the series on a DVD with a 15$ Old Tube Television that we purchased from Goodwill.   Because we had no money to go out, and no money to buy nice things.    We were forced to rewatch out limited DVD collection of Anime that survived the Trip to Iowa from Michigan.   And although those could be cataloged as "Dark Times" in our lives... I actually remember them with fondness.  A touch of Excitement,  Romance, and Melancholy.  A moment in time that is now lost to history.   

When I went back to Michigan to see my Brother and Friend,   I was forced to drive through Grand Haven.   (And Saugatuck and South Haven, and Holland....) And all those Michigan thoughts came flooding in.   I could feel the "Carving and Art Show Years"  pounding on my heart like a hammer.   The places had changed a bit, but enough was there to cause me discomfort while passing through.  And one of the things I noted while on Long Drives:    Your Mind tends to Wander towards those things in the past that you: "Should have..... Would have.... Could have"  done better or different.   Would the results have been better or worse?   You will never know... 

So why beat yourself up over them.   

That is what your mind tells you.   But your Heart is beating loud and strong.. Telling you that it all matters somehow.   And maybe it is not always for the bad...   Even though it may feel like that in the moment. 

And so I listen to Avenue.   A short, little instrumental song that is played only a couple of times during the entire Full Alchemist Series.  A song that is nothing more than background when Ed and Al are on their Journey.   And they look back on their Childhood...  With Nostelgia.  

And,  like real life,  they look back on many moments of their past with Horror, Fear, and Great Sadness.   But it all works to shape their path towards the one  that they are on.  It takes them a while, but they eventually recognize that.   A line I remember is when Al  is lamenting that he and Ed do nothing but "Give to the Void"  and get nothing back in return.   Even though they wholeheartedly believe in the fundamental principle of Alchemy:   "Equivalent Exchange."   And  then another random character will offer the explanation : "Sometimes that which is gained is not always what is wanted..."   

Wisdom sometimes comes at a high price!

But this song brings back those good memories.   Those soft moments of peace and sanctuary when our world was collapsing around us.   And it brings back the person who shared those moments with me.  Even though I no longer have that person,  I still have the memories.   

And those moments.   

And all it takes is for a brief melody of music to bring them all back.   

Like... Magic.  

The music will mean little to anyone else who has not lived my life,   And even less to those who have not watched the Anime Series.  But here it is.    Just to add some context to the thing that allows Time Travel, Nostelgia, Heart Restoration, and Peace.    Enjoy.