So I Ran A Marathon....

And it SUCKED!  It was awful!  There are not enough Negative Adjectives in the English language to describe this event. ( and there are a LOT!) I would recommend NO ONE ever run a Marathon.  26.2 miles of pure Pain! Anguish and Suffering!  The only people who run more than one are people with deep seeded emotional damage.  ( They use it as fuel...  Nightmare Fuel!)  Because that is the only way to deal with their trauma:   Find something else that makes you suffer MORE!    

So what was my trauma?  My nightmare fuel?   You might be able to guess some of it....

But it was not enough.  And I ran out around mile 16 ( I think.... Things are a little blurry at the moment.) From there....  It became a Grind.   My legs against the pavement....  being ground down to stubs.  My hamstrings locked up so I could not bend my legs.   The balls of my feet both got cramps in them.  And my kneecaps both felt like they were "floating" on my knee.  And there was tightness in the back of my knee.  

Add in the fuel/water stops seemed to give me a side ache every time I tried to re-hydrate.  My lungs felt ok...  But my legs were gone.   Gone Gone!   Like I could walk and make them move... but every time I tried to catch someone who passed me... They simply refused to slip into second gear. I watched in helpless belief as every single pace group slowly passed me.   And as I tried to hang with them or catch them... they simply pulled away a little slower...  When the final pace group passed me.... And them WALKED up the bridge.... I still could not catch them. IT SUCKED!  

In addition to the lack of energy,  there is the pain.   Not a sharp pain ( like I broke something.)  But a dull, ache kind of pain that slowly builds to just below the threshold.  And then it stays there... Like a form of torture.  IT SUCKS!  Sucks your energy... Sucks your Motivation.... Sucks your Will!  

But I finished!  Survived!  I had lots of moral support from fellow runners and spectators.  Keeping me from quitting or breaking down.  I am thankful.  I am grateful! The running community are some of the finest people I have ever met.  And They helped me with their cheers and encouragement so I could make it to the end. 

That all being said...  This experience was everything I was looking forward to... and More!   Everything I feared.  Everything I had imagined.  Everything I had hoped for.   Because I wanted something that would push me past my breaking point.   At least my "perceived" breaking point. Something that would push me to the limit and show me that I could take it.  Perhaps not in the Glorious Way I had imagined.... But I could survive it.  Proving to myself that I could do something I was uncertain of.  And I was Uncertain...

I had felt a similar feelings in the Army.  But not like this!  This will rank as my #1 uncertain achievement for a very long time.  I have never had to work so hard for something so small and meaningless.  A "Trinket!" As someone I once knew used to call my Army medals and awards... 

Bragging right?   There are no bragging rights here.   Hitting the wall and grinding out should only serve as a form of Humiliation. And humiliation must have an audience...  Hence why I did this completely alone.  When testing my mettle against a  difficult  problem or  task,  I tend to default to working in solitude.   It's a quirk.  It allows you to make your own mistakes and learn from them without an annoying, "I told you so!" ringing in your ear. The fear of failure is cause enough to prevent people from taking risks.  And learning outside their contemporary education.  This is my method that works for me.  

And one of the mistakes I made was I left my Gummy Bears in my pack when I checked my gear.  No fueling possibly contributed to my bonking at mile 16.  And relying on the course fuel points was untested.... And caused possible side effects ( like side cramps!)  

And then there is the lack of training.  Running 6 miles every other day after work might not have been the best training program.( long runs on weekends...)   Running long with no watch to pace myself might have also been a problem.  There is still much to learn...  If I ever run this distance again...

Which I will not.   Once and DONE!  Been there done that.   All trauma has been exercised from my system... So there is no longer a reason ( or fuel for...) running this distance.  My advice to anyone who thinks running a Marathon would be fun:   Don't!   It's NOT!

Stick with the half Marathons or 10K's Why does anyone need to run 26.2 miles anyway?  ( Other than to prove something to themselves...) Trust me!   It is nothing but Pain!  Pain And Suffering!  You can find easier way to suffer and struggle.   Life throws plenty at you everyday.  And if you think you want to tackle a "Struggle" that you can control...  Think again!   The Marathon distance is the Devil!

Then again....  Everyone has to forge their own path through life.   And if you want a cushy job, nice things, and a safe location to live....  You can do that.    But if you want to test your limits in this life... Well,  perhaps this is one thing that can add life to your comfortable existence.   Because every second counts!