On the Eve Before Our Anniversary. A "Thank You!" To Cheryl

I am truly grateful for the time I spent with her.  And that is the truth.  It will soon be 27 years since we took the pledge.  And it looks like this will be our last time...  But before I go down some dark road,  I wanted to say "thank you" to Cheryl.   For being a Wonderful Wife and friend.  

I know I had my hang-ups.  I certainly have my flaws.  And she endured them for a very long time.  Of course she had her issues to.  We all do!  But nothing I could not live with and even learn to love a little.  ( Like her lack of direction.) 

There was a time when I thought we were inseparable.   We would finish each other's sentences and know where our thoughts were going.  We would crack jokes only we knew and blurt out sayings from movies and animes that only we understood.  We were quite the pair. 

But there is an even deeper thanks I would like to try to explore.  One where Cheryl was my support on several occasions.   A moment when I quit Israels.  The moment I put some of my carvings online.  Even when we did not know what the heck we were doing  (Most of the time, actually)   She helped me pursue my artistic side.   And although we did not prosper under that endeavor,  we faced it together and dealt with the fallout together.  It was in those moments that I thought I had somehow picked the perfect partner.  ( or she picked me...  which is probably the actual truth.) 

We traveled!  More than I originally thought I ever would.   We traveled to cities and ran races....  Stopping in at the various tourist sites along the way. 

She had a knack for business!  And we started and ended several business ideas.  Christmas Stockings being the most successful!  I thought we had finally cracked the code after 12 years...  Actually nearly 20!  If you count all the failures along the way.  We made enough money to live a humble existence in Iowa.  We could work together and had no boss over us except ourselves.  And with Covid shutting places down and forcing people to stay home,  we were able to work from home,   making stockings and lots of money.   We brought joy to lots of people and pets along the way. 

And finally,  Cheryl had given me this.   This moment of solitude and self reflection. Honestly, there are moments where I imagine I am dead and this is how a restless spirit would behave.  I wonder why my wife no longer wants to be with me... Why my romantic advances are thwarted.  Why we can not be together.  If I did die,  I don't remember doing it.   And here I am... Currently in a sort of Purgatory for lost loves.   I don't do much outside of working and running outside.  My artistic moments are few and far between.  I feel lost and adrift.  

But something will come along when the time is right.  And I'm not sure what I'm waiting for to take the leap.  Perhaps closure of some type.  Perhaps something else.   But as our anniversary approaches,  I have been feeling rather anxious these days, and felt as if I had to write something down to get this 1000 lbs weight off my chest.   And the only way I know how to deal with the sadness... is to smile.  

And Cheryl brought lots of smiles to my face for many years.    And I just wanted to thank her for that.  

Thank you!  Cheryl. My love.... 

And I honestly and truly wish  you find the happiness you seek.  Whether it be in your career or in another soul mate.   

Because Love..  True Love...  Can never hate.