22 MILES!

Today I ran 22 miles!  

It Sucked!   

I have never run 20 miles before, let alone 22.   I was expecting something at the end... or during.    But nothing....  Nothing positive at least.  Where is this "Runner's High" they brag about.   I'm here to tell you first hand it does not exist!   All I felt at the end of it was pain and depression.   

I must confirm that around mile 17 the profanity began.   I have seen this in the past... with other runners.  I'm not really sure why it happens.  

Not my legs!

It started out as a wonderful day this morning.   At 9 AM,  the skies were overcast and the breeze was nice and cool.   The temp was 70 with a high of 72 for the day.   The first 6 miles felt so good, I wondered if I should run a little further today.  

My second loop around the PET was still fairly pleasant.   I stopped in to the house as I finished to drink some water and snack on some Honey.  I was not there long, but felt as if there was not enough in the tank for the final loop.  

Around mile 15....  Things began to change.   My legs, though sore, still functioned up to this point.   But then I felt thing begin to "fail".   My glutes.  My knees. My shoulders!  ( How can that be an issue?)  Even my elbows!  I stopped several times at the drinking fountains to re-hydrate as best I could.   Apparently, it was not enough. 

Walking!  Unforgivable!

At mile 18,  I stopped in for the last time at the house for one final water break.   And then I charged out for the remaining tail up to the corner and back.  It would give me 22 miles.   And it sucked!   The profanity began to get louder and the emotional damage of failure weighed heavy on me.   I actually had to walk up the hill!  I thought my brain was stronger than that.   Mind over your body...right?   

The small concession I have is that I actually completed the task I set out for myself.  I didn't quit, although the offer was there several times... I knew that if I quit on this, I would feel worse.   Worse than the overwhelming pain I am currently feeling as I sit in this chair with my legs propped up.   

The surprising "good" news is that I managed to lose 9 lbs in the process!  That is right!  9 LBS!   I'm sure it is entirely water weight and I am currently at dangerous dehydration levels... I will gain it back as soon as I begin drinking water again. ( Which I have been doing all afternoon!)  I'm feeling a little bit better now.  

I'm not sure why I attempted 20+ miles today.   Perhaps it was the weather.   Perhaps it was something that was bothering me.  What ever it was, I no longer can remember it now.  My mind has been completely wiped!   All I can think about is the ache in my legs, the chafing on my buttocks, and the blog post I have to write about the experience.  I, unlike any other runner, am NOT trying to get other people into the sport.   For me... It is not really a sport.   I am not doing this to get healthy or stronger.   I'm doing it to become a Monster.   Because Monsters are respected and "nice guys" are not.  I'm not sure how much longer I have to do this, (Forever!) Or if I will ever know when I have achieved "Monster Status".   All I know is that I saw a Monster in me at mile 20 today.   And he is very Angry, mixed with a touch of sadness.  And still Weak!    But what is that against the ravages of time. Time will always win the battle.... That is why every second counts!

Fishing With Friends!

Yesterday,  Dave invited me to fish the Pond again.  Only, this time.... We had kayaks at our disposal.   And that made all the difference!

The pond is private.  And surrounded by heavy brush to prevent shore fishing.   If you lack waders,( Which I do!)  Then you are at the mercy of the brush and the small openings you can squeeze between.  Most of my time is spent fighting the snags I get every time I try to cast into the water.  

But having a flotation device of some type changes the game completely!  

This past week has been excessively hot!  And on the day we were slated to go out, the heat hit an all time high.   So we waited an hour for the sun to dip down and perhaps cool off the area a bit.   It did not seem to help 

For this reason, I was afraid the fish were going to be either overly active ( a good thing) or lethargic and stressed from the heat. ( a bad thing!)   I'm sure there was something in-between that, because as the time slipped by, the fish started to bite.  Too bad it was rather late.

In the end,  I caught 5 nice Bluegills and Dave caught three Largemouths.   We had just enough to make a meal and still have time to clean them last night.  We ate them today for dinner.  Nothing like fresh fish and chips  with fish that are less than 24 hours old!  

The heat and humidity have been making the sky rather brilliant each morning.   Halos hover around the sun, making it look like a flame in the sky rather than a ball.  I don't know why, but it never gets old for me.  

And the Mushrooms have been enjoying the humidity and heat as well.   I found several species, including these meadow mushrooms, just popping up out of the grass.  My cousin-in-law Joel Lucas, showed me a VERY cool app for my phone that can take pics of Mushrooms and ID them.   It was quite amazing!  I now have been using it for many of the mushrooms I have failed to ID 100%...  Even the really small ones!  It is also very satisfying when the App concurs on your own personal Identification of the mushroom.  Tech can be so wonderful sometimes.  

Hope everyone is staying cool.   I hear there is a cold front moving in now and temps will be dropping.  Currently, it is raining.   Even though the weather channel said it was not supposed to rain today.  Go figure.  

Tomorrow is Friday!   And there will be a restful weekend in store for me.   Dave has hinted about going fishing one last time before giving the Kayaks back.  I may have to fuss a little with the fly rod to see if I can make it a little more user friendly.   We shall see.  IN the mean time... Enjoy this life!  Every second counts!

Fishing with Family!

Sunday after the reunion,  a couple of the remaining family members decided to go for a little fishing trip down along the Grand River.  Joel, being a former military police guy, wanted to do things all legal and bought those of us who were non-Michigan residents a one day license.   (only $10!) 

With three cartons of bait, several tackle boxes, and three scruffy guys....  we loaded up in Joel's truck and headed to the local Dam/ reservoir.  I didn't take long for all of us to catch something.   Granted...  They were small.   And hardly the species of fish we had hoped we could stumble upon.  But, we at the very least did not get skunked!  And that is always a good thing. 

Chubs, Small mouth bass and Green Sunfish were the majority of the catch.   Nothing worth keeping, really.   Joel used some of the really small fish as bait for a couple of tosses.  But eventually abandoned them for spinners or worms. 

The Sun was out and the heat really beat down on us and possibly the fish.   It really was a lot of work trying to find the few small ones that we did.  I imagine the larger fish being in a shady area or in deeper water.   But, having never fished this particular part of the Grand River,  we were shooting randomly.  

Eventually,  we got tired and needed a nap.   We headed home and I managed to finish the blog post I started the day before.  Joel took a nap while Lee, Chrissy and Denise talked about next years plans for the reunion.   I guess this years success put the family coffers back in the black so cousin Sharron will not have to struggle as much when she hosts it next year.  ( I think that is right....  don't quote me on any of this... I'm just a casual observer. 

Applebees!  With Joel and Chrissy.

In the end, it was a wonderful weekend.   I thoroughly enjoyed the company and stories.   I'm happy to say that all reservations and fears I had before were unwarranted.   And I am happy that I did not regress back to old ways and instead, forced myself  out of my comfort zone.   I believe that I am better for it and, although the benefits of this experience may not be known immediately,  I feel that something good will come out of this event.   Specifically for me... but maybe for all of the other folks I got to chat with as well.   We shall see over time... perhaps next year.   If I am still able to join in.   We shall see.

The Clemence Family Reunion!

On a pleasant Saturday afternoon in August,  My Grandmother's side of the family invited me to join them for their annual Family Reunion.   And this year....I accepted. 

To fill in a little background, I have not seen these people in well over 30 years!  I can barely remember the last time and only ball-park the age when I attended the last one.  (Possibly in high school!) Many of the people I would remember have passed on... including my Dad!   So I was prepared to go in blind as far as recognizing and correctly identifying my cousins.  And the few aging folks of that previous generation who happened to be still alive, I was prepared for them to not remember me.    A lot has changed in 30 years!

Chrissy,  my contact, was 14 years old when I last saw her.  (I would have been 11)  She found me on Facebook and invited me while asking for my Brother's contact info along the way.   We had an epic chat and it planted the seed of "reunion" into my brain.   And I have been thinking about it ever since.   

Quite honestly,  I was never really "in" to family reunions.   Mostly because there were very few kids our age to play with.  And after I got old enough to split away on my own,  I simply failed to ever go back ...and drifted away....Into all of the other things that tether us to this world. 

But recent events have enlightened me to the forgotten benefits of family and friends.   People who remember you and your parents and can fill you in on the parts of life that never made sense to you on your own.  Parts that you might have missed while you were out there trying to make your own way... alone. 

But within minutes, I was  connecting with all the people who barely knew me. Or people who only knew "Of me"   through second hand stories.   Like chatting about a shared history without ever actually meeting face to face.  Call it... Magic. 

 I jumped in helping set up the big tents and tables.   Within an hour, we had the big stuff set up and ready for people, who began trickling in a few at a time.   Even though the event was to take place on Saturday, guests ( like me) who had to travel could show up early and either camp in the yard or guest rooms in the house.  I got to camp outside in the cool in one of the tents they provided.  

On Saturday,  I woke up early and drew a quick chalk drawing in their driveway, to help folks know they had found the right place.  One of those things that I do. 

Ganaderma. ( Artist Bracket.)

One of the family members used make a living as an artist using Ganaderma ( Also known as "Artist Bracket".)   as his media.   It is nice to know that there are other "artists" in the family.   And Mushroom Guys!   

There were many "Creatives" in the family.   And I got to chat with a few of them.   I don't usually like big crowds very much, but as the folks began showing up, I found a few of the family that I recognized and hung out with them for the majority of the time.   Namely:  The Oxfords. 

"Uncle" Ernie.(He's bigger in real life.)..

The Oxford side of the Clemence lived  in Michigan ( And Ohio)  and one family lived right across the road from us as I was growing up.   My Dad and "Uncle Ernie" ( Another close-by Oxford.... He is really a second cousin... but who cares about titles?)  used to do all kinds of things together and we would play with Chuck and Ruthie because they were our age. 

This guy is 80 yrs young!

I even managed to link up with Wayne,  (one of the Oxfords who lived across the street.)  and got to fill in his story. He was older than Eric and I were, but I looked up to him because he joined the Army and gave me all of his medals and swag when he got out. As a kid, I thought that was the coolest stuff, and wore the "mosquito wings" on my green hat for a very long time. ( He was possibly one of a long list of reasons I wanted to join the Army.) 

Wayne Oxford.  A "retired" hero!  

He fell onto hard times.   And Dark times.   But he has managed to come back and  now serves as a counselor for addicts and people in recovery.  I wish him well.  Sometimes it takes a tragedy for a person to find their purpose and path in life.  And it looks like he has finally found it. (Wisdom comes at a high price sometimes.)

Sharron and Lonnie.With Uncle Glen

And so it was that I met my Cousin Sharron.    When I first saw her, I thought I was looking at my grandmother!  We rattled off names of the people we knew who are now long dead and found that it was unbelievable that we had never met previously.   (She thought I looked like my Dad.)  Perhaps the previous generation is not as dead as we think.  Instead... They continue to live on in us. 

In more ways that one. 

My cousin Sharron filled me in on the life of my Uncle Mertin. (Mirtin?  Mirtain?..My Grandma's Brother.) A "black sheep" of the family, according to everyone I had ever previously talked to.  Sharron was his daughter.  And she saw first hand what he did and why he did things.   Turns out,  Uncle Mertin and I had a lot of things in common.  

White Elephant time!

He hated to work at a job.  He was an artist and a driven worker.   He was rather bad with money, and he always wanted to run his own business.   Having no one to guide him through the jungle of entrepreneurship, he failed.... a LOT!   ( Just like me!)   And he ran out of time before he could find his golden moment of success. 

Joel Lucus was the MAN!

But  using money as  the only measure of success is very limiting.   His children fared far better with many successful moments.    And then.. the next generation (His grandchildren) has managed to find the success that he searched for his entire life.   Perhaps passing on knowledge and drive to be successful business owners takes several generations.  

Fire side S'mores!

The family has plenty of stories of addictions... And failures.   Every family has them, but perhaps the Clemences have slightly more than normal.   ( What is "normal family failure" anyway? )  But along with those stories come recover.    And comebacks!    And success that outshines the dark beginnings and previous failures.   Stories I would have never heard had I not come here this weekend.   Stories that give me hope that my own failures are not only survivable,   but, with the help of God, will lead me to a successful life I would have never imagined.  And so I'm thankful for Family.   Even the odd ones. 

Break Time!

There were a few moments where I wondered how I got here.   "Here", as in Michigan.... It is very "unlike" me to do something like this.    Visiting distant relatives who were not as distant as I had once thought.  Seeing faces I could not recognize, yet sharing stories that I already knew.   It was a surreal experience.  Dad had always wanted me to join him at one of these reunions while he was still alive.  With Mom gone,  perhaps he felt the same pull for family I am currently feeling.  But I was always so busy with "other stuff." or was too far away to make the trip.  Funny how things change.  

Spiritual Healing by the fire.

So without drifting off and ending on a sad note,  I just wanted to say that I am very happy that I made the effort to come here this year.   And reconnect with the people I have not seen in decades!  Where else can you go where you can instantly relate with people who are total strangers?  (Maybe the Army....Which is still a family!)  Perhaps shared experiences help bring people together and keeps them linked through space and time.  Whatever the universal secret is,  I am thankful and grateful to have family.   Even odd ball ones.  Because life is short.   And every second counts.

The Clemence Family.    August  2023.

A Scene From My Dreams.

The blackness followed with unrelenting persistence.   Ethan and Cheryl ran ahead of it, looking for a way to escape the black ooze as it destroyed everything it touched.   They ran, trying not to look back and instead, focus on a clear path ahead of them.   Ethan Held on to Cheryl's hand as he pulled her through the rocky ground and jagged underbrush.   Cheryl cried out and  fell as they navigated the daunting terrain.  

"Cheryl, we have to keep moving." Ethan shouted in a firm voice.    "We can't stop here.   It will catch us!" 

Cheryl looked up at him, her eyes were wide and her face red.   Tears streamed down her face.  She picked herself up and tried to stand.   With slightly less force, Ethan pulled her up and tugged on her arm once again.    The darkness continues its pursuit  with a mindless determination.   Small trees and tangled vines that they have previously struggled over were now consumed as the black ooze came into contact with it. The green life sucked out, leaving only a grey ash in its place.  

"Keep Moving!" Ethan continued to shout as they stumbled forward.  "Don't stop!"  

"Make it stop."  Cheryl sniffled.   "Make it go away!  Why is it following us?" She asked.

"I don't know.   But we can't let it catch us.  We have to keep moving."  He called back.   His mind raced as he tried to come up with a plan.   Any plan!  That could divert or stop the black ooze.   If only for a second to allow them to think and catch their breath.   Looking forward, he could see nothing except more vines to trip on or rocks to stumble over.   The last thing they needed was to trip over something and lose their footing.   

Suddenly, there was a break in the forested terrain.   A chasm with rocks jutting up separated the land ahead.   It looks as if it were a wall that would spell certain doom for them. There was no way around it.    An impossible barrier that could not be crossed....  Except for the small rocky stepping stones that thrust up from the unseen bottom.  

At first glance, this looked like the end.   But Ethan saw a possibility  for survival.   The rocks were fairly close together and could easily be walked on.   If they could step across the rocks, the ooze would drain into the chasm.   It might not stop it entirely, but it could at least slow it down long enough for the couple to get their bearings and formulate a solid plan.   This could be just the break they needed! 

"Cheryl!  We have to cross this."  Ethan said, taking a step onto one of the rocks.   He felt the surface with his foot and checked it for stability.   It was solid and could easily support his weight.   "Come on!"   He extended out his hand to grab hers. 

"I can't!"  Cheryl cried.  Her fear of  heights and slippery rocks was overpowering her will to survive.  

"Yes you can!  I got you."  Ethan waved his hand to motion her forward." Take my hand, I won't let you fall."  He encouraged.

"No!  I will slip or break my leg.... I can't!"  She was crying now.  Her fear had completely consumed her and she was paralyzed. She sat down and sobbed loudly.  

Ethan looked  behind her.    The ooze was closing in and there was not much time left.   He softened his voice and stepped back over beside her.   "Look hon,  If you stay here,  you will die.   And I can't allow that.    We have to cross this chasm or we will both not make it.    You can do it.  We will take it slow and I will be there right along side you.  Don't look down!  Just look at me and I will hang on to you as best I can."   Ethan Encouraged. 

Cheryl looked up.   Her eyes puffy and red from the crying.   The sound of the blackness continued to pulse and crackle as it approached.    Even with her fear,  Cheryl could sense that the ooze was a greater danger.    She stood up on all fours.   Her hands gripped the first rock while her legs reached out for a stable foothold.   

"Ok!  Good!   You got this Hon!   Anyway you can do it.... Just keep moving forward."  Ethan continued to encourage her.   He stepped next to her on an adjacent rock.   It was slow, but she was moving and that was a good thing. 

The blackness arrived at the ledge of the chasm and, just as Ethan predicted, it rolled over the edge.   The dark substance flowed over the rocks and into the bottomless pit like a surging tide.  They were saved for the moment, but they still had to cross over to the other side.    Ethan continued to encourage Cheryl as she crawled along each jutting rock.  The other side was within sight now and they were so close to being in the clear.   Even if it was only for a short while.    He felt his heart begin to lighten.  

"Only two more rocks!  You're almost there Baby!"  He cheered her on.   "Almost there!" 

Cheryl reached for the last rock;  her eyes squinted with fear and determination.   She pulled her first foot onto it and then her second.   She stood one stride away from the other side....  Solid ground.  Sanctuary!

She reached out her hand as if to pull the ledge closer.   Ethan reached out his hand to grab hers.   Together,  they crossed the final gap and found themselves both on the other side.    Safety was theirs. 

Ethan reached out to hug Cheryl close.   A celebration of their achievement and survival!   His heart soared as she buried her face into his chest.   They were safe for now.   They had survived.

Ethan felt a dull thud on his chest.   A thud that felt like a soft blow from a rubber mallet.    The kind of thud that stops you for a second, as you wonder what could feel like such a thing.  

He looked down to see Cheryl's fist on his chest.   "She must be mad at me for yelling at her."  He thought.   It was ok, though.   She was here now and safe.   Surely a little yelling is a small price to pay for their lives. 

He looked down a little closer as Cheryl's face turned up to look at his.   She was smiling.   Or was it smirking?   A faint grin that threaded the line between "Happy" and "Mischievous".  For a second,   it almost looked evil. 

But then he felt the pain.   A burning pain in his chest.    He studied  Cheryl's fist more closely and now saw that   she was gripping something.   Something that extended out.   Cheryl's hand slowly uncurled her fingers to reveal a handle of a dagger. 

With her eyes never losing contact,   She waited for a moment before twisting it ever so slightly.  The burning pain shot up through his chest.  She stepped away and out of his embrace,  Her smile never wavering. A slight giggle escaped her lips.

Ethan looked at the knife and then looked at her.    The area around her began to blur as he struggled to focus.   The flaming fire in his chest was growing hotter and was becoming unbearable.  Instinctively, he grabbed the handle and tried to pull it out.    For only a second, he considered that if he pulled the dagger out of his chest, he would bleed to death  But the pain became too great for him to handle. Each attempt to remove it  added more to the pain as blood began to pour out of the wound.   With one last effort  he pulled the dagger out completely.  

Blood sprayed out as if it were from a fountain.  His world began to darken and his strength began to fade.  Slowly,  as his vision began to fade to black,  the last thing he saw was Cheryl's smiling face before the darkness consumed him.