The Eve Before Closing Day...

As the Big Day approaches tomorrow, I find the Anxiety building to almost unbearable levels!  

Ok, that is a bit more dramatic than it needs to be.   I have certainly felt worse in my life about situations I could not control.  But this one has to be up there in rankings.  I guess every time you experience a new "first" in your life,  there is that mixture of emotions that can not really be summed up in a single word.   And yet.."Anxiety" is the word of choice.  Even if it is not the best. 

There is an excitement that is mingled with the "fear".   And I have to keep telling myself to "enjoy the ride".   It will all be over soon enough and I will probably look back with fond Memories.   Like a Rollercoaster ride!    Either you want to "Do it again!"  Or you have the overwhelming feeling of being "Glad that is finally over..."  Either way,  You have the experience and memories to tell some total stranger at a bar in some distant future.

This week I have been walking around like a zombie ( my opinion).   Seemingly lost in my thoughts about things that surprisingly have nothing to do with the house!  It could be the amount of caffeine I have been consuming lately.  (But I usually drink a lot of coffee before work  as a habit.)   Oh!  Sure, there are the things I keep reminding myself about: Moving day,  Cleaning up.  logistics.  Even double checking all of the utilities that I have already transferred and wondering how things will work.  I have already changed my address, transferred services, registered to vote. (I think...) Reserved the Moving Truck, Got the Day off from work...   What else is there?  

I guess I will eventually find out.  Hopefully it is nothing too annoying or threatening.  I don't even know if by transferring the services from this place to the new one,  the services will cut  them off completely here!  And will that be bad?    I simply don't know the process. 

And then there is the "Life's Greater Direction..."  thoughts that hit me.   Going down that rabbit hole is a whole other blog post.  And even though everyone has those thoughts from time to time,   I am finding it rather unsettling that I have been having them a LOT leading up to this process.  Perhaps it is the whole concept of "Putting Down Roots" in a particular area. 

One more day of work before the big event.  And then,  Hopefully,  I will be able to fall back into "auto mode" with the move and busy work that will allow me to focus on the task in front of me and not on an uncertain future.   Honestly,  doing the small tasks that the bank and realtors have been giving me is like achieving milestones in a video game.   Each  completed task  equals a small, achievable victory!  Like stepping stones while crossing a river or climbing a mountain.  I could almost describe the experience as....  Dare I say:  Fun?  

Maybe....

 Fun is usually accompanied with hardship and struggle.   Even frustration and anger!  Emotions that would might not ever associate with "having Fun."   But there it is.  I never would have thought about things like that in my youth.   Perhaps that means I am getting old... 

So I best end this now and get ready for work.  Tomorrow will be a long day and it begins early!   So I had better be my best and get a good night's sleep.   And try to make every second count.