The Great MLS Clocktower Caper...

 

On a chilly, spring evening, near the Court Street entrance of the boys dormitory, two shadowy figures crouched behind the sparse foliage of the ubiquitous landscaping. The lamp posts from the street outlined the boys’ shadows against the front brick wall of the building, creating multiple, eerie figures that grew and danced as they moved. Aside from the small cluster of bushes, there was very little cover in which to hide. Between them, the boys carried a large banner made of plastic, and a single roll of Duct tape.

With that small lead-in, allow me, if you will, to tell you a story. A Tale of the greatest caper than never was. A small legacy for a number of students, looking to leave a mark on the place they called home for four years. A secret plot that only a handful of people from the class of 1988 would even know or remember. It is a challenge trying to figure out where to begin the story, because there is a prologue. One that began a year earlier.

 

In 1987, a group of graduating seniors decided, as a final prank on their high school, to put a “For Sale” sign on the Michigan Lutheran Seminary Clock tower. The Wisconsin Synod, whenever faced with financial hardships, would often suggest putting MLS up for sale as a way to shore up the budget. It never happened, but was often a joke that was told to those students who were imprisoned within the school at the time. It was from this constant threat of the sale of their Alma Mater where they would gain their inspiration

 

Their plans, grandiose as they were, were just that: Plans. Things never got much further than the planning stages. They had no materials for the sign, no tools for the installation, no equipment for the climbing of the tall and slender clock tower. They had no idea how they would create or hang the sign, even if they somehow managed to climb the tower. 

 

But as the final days before graduation approached, the group decided to make things up as they went along. Their plans were immediately foiled as they tried to get out of a second story window, breaking a small mesh screen, and alerting the two Tutors who were posted on watch that night. It turns out that their plan to jump out from the second story dormitory window, onto the school rooftop was not the best start. On top of that, both Tutors had been “celebrating” with some end-of-the-school-year beer; making the possibility of getting caught even less likely. But caught, they were! And the plot was over almost before it even began. 

 

This set into motion a series of procedures and policies from the school administration. They allegedly placed “motion detectors” on the roof of the school. They also added locks and gates on windows and ladders that could access the upper levels of the roof. In addition, they made daily announcements during chapel, that any unauthorized student caught on the roof would face criminal charges of Trespassing. And that offense could jeopardize their possibility for graduation. To many in the student body, these announcements might have seemed odd or confusing. Who would possibly want to climb up on the roof of the school? And for what purpose? 

 

But to several students, this made perfect sense. The four stooges from 1987 had left a small spark of inspiration in two of their younger disciples. A duo of two unlikely characters had taken notice of the earlier attempt and failed execution from the previous crew. And as the end of the 1988 school year approached, they began to form their own plan. A plan with maps, pre-made materials, equipment, scouting reports, and timing. They did their research by interviewing the previous hooligans. They gathered materials and made the sign before the actual day of the mission. As luck would have it, one of the students had no room-mate, and had an entire dorm room all to himself. His ability to keep mission secrecy was taken advantage of to the fullest! Without a roommate, materials and equipment could be stored and plans could be discussed openly with no risk of an accidental security breach. The fewer people who knew of the mission, the lesser the chances would be of alerting school authorities .

 

The Duo also had several other factors that gave them an advantage over the previous delinquents. One of the two was an academic marvel. He was a model, honor-roll student and was in the band, show-group, choir, and was planning on going into the ministry. He was recognized by the State of Michigan for his Outstanding Academic achievement on the ACT… Earning him scholarships and awards. In all, he was one of the “Golden Boys” of the school. Loved by everyone and respected by many of the teachers and fellow students. Being on the team meant he brought the intelligence that was sorely lacking in the 1987 group, and the charisma to weather out any potential suspicion of wrong doing from faculty, staff, and other students of the school. 

 

The other accomplice also brought something to the table of skills. He was invisible.

A young man with no distinguishable characteristics or skills set. He was not an athlete, nor an academic scholar. The only reason he was considered a model student was because many teachers probably had no idea he was even in their class. His ability to blend in was uncanny. In the four years that he had attended Michigan Lutheran Seminary, his picture only appeared once in each of the year books. Being average in every way possible made him stand out to no one; And created an invisible bubble around him that made observation and secrecy from others possible. 

 

As the day of the caper approached, the announcements during chapel became more and more overbearing. The threats became repetitive, and almost comical in their claims. Students who were known to be trouble makers, were pulled aside by the administration and warned NOT to try anything before graduation. The repetitive warnings and threats were beginning to make an impact. The duo discussed their plans again, and went over abort methods and exit strategies. Alternative plans were debated. But in the end, the day came… And the decision to go was made. 

 

On that night, the plan was to wait until “Lights Out” and “Room Check” to begin the mission. Sometimes the Tutors would check the floors right away and call it for the night. Other times, they would not check at all. This was certainly a variable that had to be accounted for. But that night, the Tutors never checked the rooms. Instead, they patrolled the sunken gardens outside the dorms, searching for room lights and activity from the outside. Windows were opened and names were hurled at the patrolling Tutors from anonymous callers. The Tutors yelled back that they should all be sleeping now… commands that fell on deaf ears as the entire dormitory was popping with activity. The plan was pushed back. 

 

But eventually, the voices subsided as even the most energetic underclassmen began to fall asleep. The Tutors also disappeared from their hourly patrols. In the A.M. hours, the campus outside stood silent. The moment to strike was at hand! 

 

The two slowly opened their doors and peeked out into the hallway. No roaming students, no patrolling Tutors were spotted. They linked up and gathered their materials and headed towards the objective: The front of the School Dormitory. 

 

As they slowly opened the door to the stairwell, they silently listened for any signs of life. The Tutors would most likely be posted on the opposite side of the dorm, in the stairwell that connected the dorm to the school building. Even so, there would be a high probability that the Housemother would be stationed inside the main office, where alarms and lights alerted them to any open door that led outside.

 

 To go out, one had to be swift to make sure the door was open for only a fraction of a second.

And then, the door would lock once it was closed. Propping the door open would only alert them that someone is trying to get inside. For this reason, there was an “inside man” who was stationed near the door to allow for reentry. It was yet another link in the plan chain, but it was a part of the plan that had been prepared for. 

 

As the two opened the door that lead to the outside, the cool air washed over them like a wave. They pulled and tugged the plastic banner and quickly made their way towards the front of the building. The shrubbery was less than knee high, and offered minimal cover for their activity, they needed to act fast if they wanted to avoid detection. 

 

Butterflies and anxiety began to well up in both of them. Their whispers quivered as they tried to keep from speaking too loudly. Their hands began to shake with nervous tremors, making the simplest of tasks overly complicated. They unrolled the banner and fanned it out across the Iron Lettering that displayed the school name. The letters were just out of reach, but the banner was perfectly sized to stretch out just under it. They pulled off three foot sections of duct tape, trying their best to keep the tape from rolling over on itself. After several failed attempts, they managed to secure each side of the banner with enough tape to theoretically hold the sign in place. 

 

But that is when the plan met a fatal flaw. The duct tape that twisted and stuck to almost everything else, would not stick to the front brick. The iron letters were too high to loop the duct tape over them for support. In addition, the ever so gentle breeze was just strong enough to lift and toss the banner. The banner itself was just heavy enough to pull the tape loose. If they could not get the banner to stick, the entire gig was over. 

 

The Star Student began to see his plans for a promising future, evaporate into a life of petty crime and vandalism. He gripped the duct with white knuckles and pulled off a huge strip. In one motion, he slapped the entire piece onto the banner and then onto the brick. It stuck! 

 

“Hurry!” He called out as the Invisible Student struggled to get his end to adhere. Another large piece was pulled and attached. Another firm press and the banner was fastened to the wall. Crooked! Unsightly! “Good enough!” The Star Student affirmed. “ Let’s go!” 

 

As he ran around the corner, the Invisible Student noticed that the banner was already beginning to droop. It would never make it until morning. But there simply was not enough time to obsess and fix it. “Good enough” was all they could hope for at this point. 

 

They called out to the inside man. Let’s call him “Ben Golish” because the name fits… He was an unwitting accomplice, not knowing all of the facts of the mission or how important his role in the event would be. It was feared that if too much information was revealed, he would choose to decline his services. He also had a promising future, after all. And risking it over something as petty as this would seem unbecoming. Yet Ben was irritatingly reliable. If he told you he would help, he would! Even if he discovered that he had somehow crossed a gray line somewhere. But the fact that this important phase of the plan relied on him, made the Invisible Student nervous. 

 

Golish peered through a second story window, his eyes with an indifferent, sleepy haze over them. He waved his hand and motioned toward the entrance. . Moments later he appeared and opened the door. The Duo ran inside, breathing heavily and shaking from a combination of cold mixed with fear. The job was done! They could go to their rooms now and wait for the fall out tomorrow. 

 

But the sign did fall down. By the time the duo discovered it, it was too late. The maintenance crew had found the banner and quietly cleared it up. There was no mention of it in that morning chapel service. No students talked about it. It was as if it had never happened. 

 

Two days later, graduation! Everyone went their separate ways and that was the end of it. For years, the duo thought that that one moment where they had dared to take a risk, and push back in a relatively harmless fashion, had ultimately ended in failure. There would be no legend or legacy of their passing through. No sign that they were even there between the years of 1984-1988. And that should have been the end of the story. 

 

However… Sometimes things take on a life of their own. Many years later, a friend of a friend of a friend who’s child was enrolled in the Michigan Lutheran Seminary, recalled of a time when the seniors of a certain year, placed a “For Sale” sign on the clock tower. In This story, the seniors, climbed the clock tower and successfully placed a giant “For Sale” sign for all to see. The Janitors and maintenance staff had to use ladders and long poles to remove the huge banner. There might have even been a story written in the local newspaper. The culprits and the methods used to achieve this prank remain a mystery to this day. 

 

So the story lives on with a cloak of mystery that has added to the legend over the years. A combination of the “Clown Attempt” in 1987 with the “Successful Failure” in 1988 have now combined into a Successful Senior Prank. And for this reason, I hesitate to even write this story down, some 30 years later. For the goal to become legendary while remaining anonymous has finally been achieved… even if we were not there to fully enjoy the fame. Back when I was just a freshmen at MLS, there was a story that the class of 1983 had somehow managed to get a VW beetle into the then gymnasium… And filled it with Tennis Balls! How did they get a VW Bug inside the Gym through the narrow doors? And where did they find that many Tennis Balls to fill it? Was this story even true? 

 

I’m sure that the original event, though having a few common details, was not the one that matched the story that is told to new Freshmen as they enter those Hallowed Halls of Advanced learning. And I bet the staff and teachers do not mind adding embellishments to each story from time to time. It is stories like these that add character and meaning to the places you pass along in life. Hundreds of students and staff will file through Michigan Lutheran Seminary as the years continue. Their names and faces will be lost in the sea of time. But stories and mysteries from the past give a place its history. And it is a history I will forever be proud to be a part of. Even if no one ever knows the true identities of the two Hooligans who never successfully put a “For Sale” sign on the Clock Tower of The Michigan Lutheran Seminary.